dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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