I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
