is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
