No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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