Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
