I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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