I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
