WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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