Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
