Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
