This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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