It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
