just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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