Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
