At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
