god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
