Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
