No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
