I must be too annoying 4 u.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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