She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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