Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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