That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
