It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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