so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
