Sry I called you an 8
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
bring money and cleavage
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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