I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
