Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Jerry, you need to find god
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
