The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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