peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Couch. On fire.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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