The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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