Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
