Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
