I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize