Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
