I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
