Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
