I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
