Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
