Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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