You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
