She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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