i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
