My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize