I didn't shave. On purpose
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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