That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
