I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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