And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
