bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize