I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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