10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
