at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My cat gives me a boner
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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