there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just gift wrapped bread.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
