Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
