My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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