Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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