Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
