He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
