College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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