is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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