Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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