dude i'm inner monologue high
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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