I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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