i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sponge bath it is.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
