its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
