That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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