SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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